Shana Tova

Tis the season that for a fleeting moment I come ou tof the fog of my everyday life and remember that I am a Jew.  The high holidays are upon us; known to many in my life as those days that we all flood the synagogues and assuage our guilt for not participating in much of a Jewish life all year.  This year I am feeling a different drive to celebrate and I can only it's assume it's because I now have a little boy.

As a child, I attended Hebrew school and became a Bat Mitzvah at the age of 13.  I did all of this because I was supposed to and because (I can only assume) my parents felt I was supposed to.  I remember missing out on things (most notably cheerleading tryouts in the sixth grade!) because I had to go to Hebrew school three times a week.  I can only imagine how different my life would be now had I made the squad...maybe I'd be married to a football player and have a couple of jock kids by now!  Doubtful, since I have never had much in the way of physical coordination!

As a teenager, when my parents were divorcing and my world seemed to be imploding, the thing only place I felt any sense of belonging was at my Jewish youth group, Midrasha.  My oldest friends attended, and that of course was where I met Justin.  No matter what was going on in my week I would show up Wednesday nights and everything felt normal there.  A couple of teachers still stand out as being adults who actually cared about me even if I was kind of a pain in the butt.  Those people don't know it but they were influential in shaping me as a human being.

So now I have a kid.  I'm by no means a religious person, really never was.  I enjoy the traditions and the culture of Judaism, and most of those are centered around holidays and sharing traditional foods.  I remember big family dinners with my cousins who loved around the corner; always lots of drama, usually some fighting, tons of food.  Usually some groaning when we actually had to SAY SOMETHING in HEBREW.  Yes, it was a cultural experience, much less religious.

Today I am struggling with where our family will fit.  Will Griffin follow in the tradition of whining every week because he doesn't want to go to Hebrew School?  I did, but I'm SO grateful I had that in my life now. 

Monday I am starting a new tradition.  Rosh Hashanah dinner at my house with whoever would like to attend.  The worst feeling is to know that there is a celebration and to have no where to participate.  My dear friend Lisi always made sure there was a seat at the table for me on Passover, and now it is my turn to offer that to anyone who needs one on this new year celebration.

It may not be the answer to all of my questions about how to celebrate, where I fit in, and how to incorporate a Jewish life for my son, but it's a start.